2020 Mix Tape

20. Power by Ellie Goulding

19. enemy by Charli XCX

18. circle the drain by Soccer Mommy

17. New Heights by Ellie Goulding

16. forever by Charli XCX

15. Cry for Me by Camila Cabello

14. Prisoner by Miley Cyrus

13. The Otherside by Cam

12. Still Learning by Halsey

11. High Highs to Low Lows by Lolo Zouaï

10. Worst Behaviour by ALMA

9. illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

8. Pedestal by Phantogram

7. Graveyard by Halsey

6. Redwood Tree by Cam

5. mirrorball by Taylor Swift

4. anthems by Charli XCX

3. Forgetting You by Cam

2. Without Me by Halsey

1. Here to Stay by Lolo Zouaï

Ok a quick walk through on this mix tape.  There are a few themes running through here: broken hearts, self doubt, frustration, self love. You know the usual stuff from pop music.  I'm going to focus on the final four songs a bit, since those songs will all go on the decade mix for 2020-2029.  

anthems by Charli XCX:  The opening lines to this song are probably the best comment I heard all year on 2020.  

I’m so bored (Woo).

Wake up late, eat some cereal.

Try my best to be physical.

Lose myself in a TV show.

Staring out to oblivion.

Forgetting You by Cam:  I have this thing for songs about haunting loves.  I think what I like so much about this song is that it could be about someone who is gone out of her life through either a breakup or death.  It works either way and so it gives the song some depth and goes beyond just a broken love affair.  The opening lines to this song make me think of the hotel scene at the end of The Dead.

You rise up like smoke
From the bed of this hotel
And I don't do so well
Forgetting you when I'm alone
Local TV
These walls take pity on me
Ice machine and your memory
All I hear down the hall

When it's quiet, I'm quietly sayin' your name
In the silence, you're silently hidin' away
And I'm gettin' older, but you never change
In a crowd, I could swear I've moved on
But I'm still no good at forgetting you when I'm alone

Without Me by Halsey:  Nothing like a good angry song about a break up.  I really enjoyed this Halsey album and this song was the anchor to the whole album.  Throughout the album there is a theme of anger and betrayal running and this song ties it all together.  

Gave love 'bout a hundred tries (Hundred tries)

Just runnin' from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine (Mine)

I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind

What I like about this lyric is the bit of self blame in here.  "I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind" is a critical piece to the album as a whole.  Often on this album Halsey is coming back to things being her fault, even on an angry song like this one.  

Here to Stay by Lolo Zouaï:  Like I said I have a thing for songs about haunting loves and this one does a great job of tying in the idea of music acting as a catalyst to bring out those feelings.  I love this idea that she will play the song because it makes her feel alive, but at the same time it brings so much pain.  

I can't listen to the music

Oh, it makes me want to cry

I don't want to feel the rhythm

But it's keeping me alive

Not a lot of upbeat music for me in 2020 I realize.  One of those years I guess.  When I'm having a tough time I tend to go back to my favorite kind of music which usually has an emotional and sad side.  One of the reasons I was so drawn to Russian literature when I was younger.  If you ever want to go down a sad and lonely road, just dive deep into Russian literature.