Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Number 1 Son: Deadliest Video Game Character

I was just watching a show called Deadliest Warrior. It's a pretty interesting idea, basically some people decide that it would be awesome if ninjas fought Spartans, and proceed to consult experts to determine who would win such a matchup. While I felt that some of the matchups (like the aforementioned ninjas vs Spartans) were not so good, the idea intrigues me, and so I have decided to do a similar thing for video games. This is the Deadliest Video Game Character.

The first thing to do is to establish how this comparison will be taking place. I'm gonna talk about how the characters stack up in 4 categories, and I will assume that the one who wins the most categories would win were a fight to break out between the two. These categories are: 1) Allies (let's face it, very few characters avoid get helped in some way or another at some point, good or bad), 2) Offensive Capabilities (how well they can damage the other one), 3) Defensive Capabilities (how well they can take those hits), 4) Mental Capabilities (cleverness, wisdom, strategic ability, and general intelligence). Should this result in a tie, the tie will be broken by comparing some common factor of the two characters that could conceivably help in a fight. Now, I want to note that I will not ever compare characters who fought canonically, since we know who wins. Also note that if there is a fighting game with the two characters, very little of that game will be taken into account, since the characters are placed at around the same capabilities to level the playing field. With that said, let's move onto the matchup: the two greatest villains in gaming: Bowser, the villain of the Mario series, and Ganondorf, the villain of the Zelda series.

This should be good so let's get started.

1. Allies
Both characters have extensive resources to call on for help, since they both have vast armies at their disposal. Bowser's army is made up of Koopas, Goombas, Boos, and assorted other enemies. Ganondorf's army is made up of Moblins, Redeads, and even more assorted enemies. These two armies, of course, do not appear that impressive in the video games, but that is because they're fighting the heroes, who are very powerful. So let's look at these armies in detail. In terms of defensive abilities, I think Ganondorf''s army has to win because many of its ordinary members can take hits from the most powerful weapons in Hyrule. On the other hand, only a few of them are of any great threat to Link, who can mostly shrug off their blows. Bowser's minions, however, though they may die in one hit, can often do the same to Mario. In addition, Bowser's army is vastly super in numbers and mobility, as they often have dozens of troops in every corner of the Mushroom Kingdom. However, their tactics don't seem to be very good, as they mostly walk straight ahead, while Zelda enemies tend to fortify themselves and take defensive positions. But, Bowser's minions have been shown to be fiercely loyal to Bowser, and are willing to do just about anything for him, while Ganondorf's minions do not show nearly the same loyalty and in some cases actually leave his army for whatever reason. In all, I'm gonna have to call this category a tie, since they just about trade off everything I compare them in.
Bowser-0 Ganondorf-0

2. Offensive Capabilities
So, presumably their armies would just destroy each other, leaving their leaders in the wreckage to duke it out for supremacy. Who can hit harder? Well, Bowser has a number of weapons at his disposal. He's shown skill with throwing hammers, breathing fire, punching, and attacking with his shell in some way. He has incredible strength, and has been shown capable of stopping a train Superman-style. Plus, it has to be noted that Bowser is much larger than Ganondorf, being at least 12 feet tall (by my estimation). Ganondorf, however, has vast magical powers granted to him by the Triforce of Power, and can throw magical projectiles at will (though these have an unfortunate habit of being deflected back at him with ease). He is also skilled with a sword (or in some cases two) so he won't go down easily. But, Ganondorf has another trick up his sleeve. Using his piece of the Triforce, Ganondorf can transform into a gigantic boar known as Ganon, which is far more powerful. But, I'm gonna give this one to Bowser. I think in a fair fight he would simply pulverize Ganondorf, and even if he turned into Ganon, Bowser has shown over the years that he has a variety of ways to grow even larger himself, and oftentimes when he grows larger, it's to the size of an entire castle. Also, Bowser rarely initiates his attempts to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom before acquiring some sort of magical aid of his own.
Bowser-1 Ganondorf-0

3. Defensive Capabilities
Well, Bowser is more capable of dealing out the punishment, but maybe Ganondorf can take it long enough to get in enough hits on Bowser. Well, the Triforce of Power grants him immunity to normal harm. Usually he can only be harmed by certain enchanted weapons, and even those can usually do little more than stun him. Now, just for the sake of argument, I'm gonna say that Bowser is capable of the same power that these weapons are. Even so, Ganondorf will be able to take hits for a while. So what about Bowser? Well, he too is very resistant, likely because of his spiky shell, and Mario, who is capable of destroying castles with his bare hands (or by jumping on them), is rarely able to directly damage Bowser, instead resorting to dropping him into pits or throwing him into bombs (which, it should be noted, only harm him, but do not kill him). He has also defended himself from energy attacks by simply punching them. It's a close one, but I'm gonna give this one to Bowser. He's put up with a LOT of abuse over the years but it doesn't usually take too long for him to come back. Ganondorf, however, has actually been killed on a number of occasions (he keeps finding ways to cheat death) and when he does come back it takes hundreds of years.
Bowser-2 Ganondorf-0

4. Mental Capabilities
Well, it's kind of pointless to do this since Bowser has clinched the win, but why not. Neither Bowser nor Ganondorf are particularly known for their mental facilities (in fact, Ganondorf was specifically rejected by the Triforce of Wisdom). Both of their plans will eventually boil down to "kidnap the princess, kill the hero, take over the world." Not exactly chess master-like strategy. Now admittedly these plans do get more complicated and strategic on occasion. However, Bowser doesn't really tend to think things through, usually deciding to just smash anything that gets near him and hope for the best. Ganondorf, however does usually do some planning and strategy, for instance waiting around for Princess Zelda to reveal herself after disappearing for 7 years in Ocarina of Time or by manipulating Zant to take over the Twilight Realm and then Hyrule in Twilight Princess. So, even though it doesn't do him any good, Ganondorf wins this round.
Bowser-2 Ganondorf-1

So, were the two to get into a fight (which would probably happen if they actually met) Bowser would win. Their armies are too evenly matched to really make a difference, and I think Bowser could both take and dish out punishment enough to win the day (although Ganondorf might outsmart Bowser to even things up for a little while or at least escape). Anyway, that was my first comparison of two video game characters. I hope you guys liked it, despite my admittedly simple methodology. I might also have some reviews coming up soon. See ya.

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